#autistic musician

[surrah698]

BUZZ BUZZ =😖

Lol it's true! 😅🤣

[indianchindian]

Some more smiley and laughing Kenshi Yonezu which always warms my heart ❤️💖😭🥹

[changeling6]

Unloveable

I hope you hear me

This is my last chance to live

I hope you don't fear me

And what my heart will give

Am I an unopened scroll

That no one wants to read

Am I unloveable?

Why don't you love me?

Quiet as a mouse,

I try to be

Make my footsteps light

So you stay asleep

In the darkest night

Here lies my comfort

Mighty animal,

I try to be

Make my voice known

So you can see me

In the bloodless hearts

Here lies my own hurt

And now you have this window

Into the private parts of my life

So you can spy on me

And the parts I want to hide

Do you think you'll help me

By throwing me to the wolves

Do you know what your words mean

When you threaten me with the cold

I hope you hear me

This is my last chance to live

I hope you don't fear me

And what my heart will give

Am I an unopened scroll

That no one wants to read?

Am I unloveable?

Why don't you love me?

So comes my reckoning

I'm drowning in the grass

Taking over my land

Which breath will be my last

Am I an open book

Meant for you to mock me with

Am I unloveable?

Is my life not a gift?

Solemn as the dead

Are the voices that speak to me

Telling me I must survive

Carry on their legacy

Cold as the earth before

The children rise again

You don't hold power over me

This is the beginning of the end

And now I have this candle

To guide me in the night

I've been awake for days

But I haven't lost my might

The flame will beckon me

To carry on till morn

The Gods grant me a sword

So I can win this war

I hope you hear me

This is my last chance to live

I hope you don't fear me

And what my heart will give

Am I an unopened scroll

That no one wants to read?

Am I unloveable?

Why don't you love me?

So comes my reckoning

I'm drowning in the grass

Taking over my land

Which breath will be my last

Am I an open book

Meant for you to mock me with

Am I unloveable?

Is my life not a gift?

No matter how big your boat

You'll crash into the rocks

Take no for an answer for once

Or else you will pay the cost

Don't shift responsibilities

To an overwhelmed soul

Your lack of accomplishments

Will eat your body whole

I hope you hear me

This is my last chance to live

I hope you don't fear me

And what my heart will give

Am I an unopened scroll

That no one wants to read?

Am I unloveable?

Why don't you love me?

So comes my reckoning

I'm drowning in the grass

Taking over my land

Which breath will be my last

Am I an open book

Meant for you to mock me with

Am I unloveable?

Is my life not a gift?

[socratena]

I have a podcast now!!!

Introducing the SocraPod! The Socratena Podcast 📻

It's been a long time since I've used Tumblr - some of you might remember my old blog @wasabitsunami and a collection of extremely cringe side-blogs. I took a loooooooong break from about 2016, because I was terrified of my content being misinterpreted, and starting arguments. It also got increasingly hard to make it as a musician on youtube, especially a parody artist.

But now I have a podcast! And you can still find my comedy music, but mostly on Tiktok now.

Come and join me as I talk about being a neurodivergent musician, mental health, digital footprints, and being chronically online. I'd love to hear your thoughts too!

Oh yeah, and did I mention I live in the UK now?! 😱

It's good to be back Tumblr! ❤️❤️❤️

[vulpine111]

I plan to spend as much of my day as possible learning guitar!

I found a channel on YouTube that teaches chords common in punk style music. It seems like a good place to start. Once I have all that down, I'll aspire to more complex styles, I hope.

I made a playlist with some vids from SugarPill Productions and other channels.

I just took my methadone but hopefully it doesn't make me nap for too long after it kicks in.

I still don't have the right mask for my CPAP machine. I don't understand what's taking them so long. I might call my care coordinator and see if she got them to choose a fitting day for me yet.

They've really been dragging their feet.

[lithium-91]

actually can we get a list going of musicians who’ve self-identified as autistic /aspergers/on the spectrum? i’ll start

Peter Tork (The Monkees)

David Byrne (Talking Heads)

Dave Gahan & Martin Gore (Depeche Mode)

Adam Young (Owl City)

[spademooncake]

I hate to brag, but...

I can officially play the Song of Unhealing on the piano as of last Monday! This also means that I can legally make the original Song of Healing sound scary as hell by reversing it 😆 y'all are welcome 😉😇👻

[ofdinosanddais1]

I accidentally made my first EP a metaphor for Erikson's stages of development like:

Everbe: Trust vs mistrust, autonomy vs shame/doubt. You are born. You are a body. You are learning to trust your body. You are learning to develop autonomy. You are not conscious yet but the one thing tying you to every living being on this planet is that you have a body.

Eversee: Initiative vs Guilt, Industry vs Inferiority. You have gained awareness of your existence. You cannot influence the world around you easily. You're learning by observing. You're learning of what it means to exist.

Everthink: Identity vs Confusion. You are developing an identity. You are trying to develop with a million people throwing things at you about what you shoulf be. You're trying to find identity while everyone is trying to decide it for you. You are trying to learn about your everyday while everyone is trying to nitpick everything about you. You are trying to learn about yourself.

Everknow: Intimacy vs Isolation. You are trying to learn about the world. You are trying to learn about other people. You are trying to learn about the environment. Intimacy is more than sex and romance. You must become intimate with knowledge.

Everchange: Generativity vs Stagnation, Integrity vs Despair. You now want to have a place in the world. You have this knowledge about yourself and everything else and now you want to use it to lead, to change, to grow, to help.

A lot of my music writing process is just my brain dumping something into my notes app and then later I'll reread it and be like "wait a minute. I'm onto something here." And honestly I feel like its a gift of knowledge from maybe the Universe as a whole or even Divine knowledge from the Gods. I don't know. But it exists and I made it exist and it means something more than I intended it to mean.

[surrah698]

Who can relate? 🥺

Empty Chairs by Surrah

Check out my new song! It's about being autistic and struggling with friendships.

[indianchindian]

My favorite shots from the Azalea MV. Felt like making gifs of it :)

[harriehq]

So I missed World Autism Awareness Day by a week, but what the heck, shout-out to everyone who has treated me like a broken lazy waste-of-space too-needy too-sensitive freak throughout my entire life. Shout-out to everyone who has left, and to the ones who will leave when they decide I'm too much. Or not enough. Shout-out to everyone who has an opinion on how I need to fix myself before I can be loved. Fuck y'all, you were wrong. I'm just fucking autistic, and contrary to how y'all have made me feel about myself, that's OK.

[changeling6]

NPC

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I'm slipping through the cracks

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I can't crawl back (I can't crawl back)

I'm slipping through the cracks

Where am I today?

Maybe just in the way

In my head, there is a game

That all day I will play

It's always streamed live

But I can't click back out

Commentary fills my mind

I can't focus on the sounds

I hear screaming downstairs

It hurts to much to listen

I put headphones in my ears

And blast music till it dampens

I'm not here,

I'm somewhere in outer space

Saving someone else's day

This is my only escape

I'm not here,

Professor X asked me to go

Live with him like on the show

I'm a mutant now, don't you know?

Everytime you talk to me

Inside my head, there is a scene

When I want to turn it off,

I can't, I will never be free

It started in my childhood

To block out all the pain

When the sky starts to rain,

I dissociate

When you see me in the streets

I'm locked inside my dreams

There's nothing in my eyes so deep

I can't remember anything

It started with that very first fight

Couldn't cope so I'm in space

To make it through the day

I dissociate

Couldn't clean my room today

There's too much I must keep

It's all he didn't take from me

Just like he took my sleep

In the morning, I go to to school

With an hour or two of rest

There's too much that goes on at night

That it'll drag me to my death

Home was never safe for me

With him underneath my bed

Please don't touch me, I'm okay

I'm safer inside my head

I'm not here

I'm meeting some alien men

And a pink fairy princess

Say, do you like my dress?

I'm not here

I'm out saving the world

Alongside Supergirl

With the powers of earth

Everytime you talk to me

Inside my head, there is a scene

When I want to turn it off,

I can't, I will never be free

It started in my childhood

To block out all the pain

When the sky starts to rain,

I dissociate

When you see me in the streets

I'm locked inside my dreams

There's nothing in my eyes so deep

I can't remember anything

It started with that very fight

Couldn't cope so I'm in space

To make it through the day

I dissociate

Praise the world

For this child in the land

Position them with the adults

The ones who can't keep their hands

They are a commodity

A gift to sirs and ma'ams

Doing things with their bodies

That they don't understand

Punish the child

For what they don't understand

They tune out the world as they bruise

They're too young to stand

Praise the prophecy

Of the baby adult man

They don't know just what they do

The power in their hands

Everytime you talk to me

Inside my head, there is a scene

When I want to turn it off,

I can't, I will never be free

It started in my childhood

To block out all the pain

When the sky starts to rain,

I dissociate

When you see me in the streets

I'm locked inside my dreams

There's nothing in my eyes so deep

I can't remember anything

It started with that very first fight

Couldn't cope so I'm in space

To make it through the day

I dissociate

[remy-theratking]

Turns out the way I learn music is actually most definitely linked to me being neurodivergent

Big big ramble about the autistic musical experience under the cut

So I kinda suck at reading sheet music. I mean, I can sight read, but when solely provided with the sheet music and ONE listening of the recording when we initially get the music, I'm a lot slower at figuring it out than other people.

The other day me and my friends were practicing S&E stuff, and I decided to mess around and jam, and I thought of playing this song I know pretty well in my head and occasionally sing when I'm home alone (the Natlan theme song from Genshin) I never played it before, and figured it out completely as I went. They called me a wizard, all that disbelief and I was genuinely confused at how they were saying that's impossible for them to do.

But I see it like when you listen to a song enough and you end up knowing the lyrics by heart, it's that but with just the notes instead. I also visualize my music a lot, imagining this honestly indescribable visual as the music plays out that changes with volume, note, tone, etc. It's not quite ups and downs, but also kind of is... Like I said, indescribable. Look of the synesthesia artists (also I don't have synesthesia this is very likely just related to autistic pattern recognition but in sounds)

I also take from specific songs too to help discern sharps and flats on my bass clari, SPECIFICALLY I REFERENCE WE ARE NUMBER 1 IN MY HEAD IN CASE MY BRAIN FARTS AND FORGETS WHAT A HALF STEP UP SOUNDS LIKE- another one I reference is DDLC's Your Reality for basic major 3rds, 5ths, and the note G.

Also I feel like a lot of people, when they wanna learn a specific song just for fun and struggle with sharps and flats just due to fingering positions, don't... Transpose it down..... To a key with less sharps and flats............ This feels like common sense to me as an intermediate/advanced student but I did just watch a video about how what we see as common sense is just our heightened awareness and sensitivity, which is why I'm writing this whole thing in the first place bc it actually makes a lot of sense how I get so confused and frustrated that others don't understand this very simple thing to me that I think of as common sense

Back to music, I feel like if you can sing, you can play your instrument too. Being able to sing actually makes it a lor easier, because if you know the song you're playing already from before like if it's from a movie, then just pick out your part in the recording and sing along, if you miss a note, then just play it by ear to some humming (reminder this is not like an advice thing this is how my brain works with music and what my inner voiceover is saying during band classes)

When I don't remember a section at all, I just listen to the others and find a harmonizing note. Learning harmonizing 3rds, 4ths, 5th, and especially 7ths omg I love 7ths so much can really come in handy when you forget midway through a song.

But then I get hit with "you don't need to memorize it though? Just read the music" EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WDYM YOU DON'T GET MUSCLE MEMORY AFTER PLAYING THIS SONG FOR WEEKS??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T RELY ON THAT LATER ON WH

People learn differently, I know that. I'm just recounting my experiences since realizing neurodivergency is why my musical experience is sooooosososo different than my friends'.

[tkmarcic]

any other music players out there find one riff that you really like and then play on repeat non stop or am i just autistic

[theteapotofdoom]

The crazy thing about George Harrison is that you will see thousands of pictures of him where he looks absolutely stunning, like drop dead gorgeous, absolutely bewitching, and then you will read dozens and interviews and testimonies of people being like "George Harrison is so much more attractive in person, the pictures truly don’t do him justice" or like "being in the same room as him was an indescribable experience that no picture can compare to" or "the photos could never quite picture how intense his eyes are" …

And it’s like "oh okay so meeting him would have killed me, I would have just fucking died on the spot, direct eye contact with him would have made me crazy beyond repair, cool."